I can’t blame them. It was my own fault to imagine that Sharknado was an accident. Over and over again, the Syfy Channel has given us ridiculous B-type movies in the hopes that something would catch fire in a cult status sort of way. I usually see through these marketing ruses, give that month’s horrible movie a few minutes of my time, then go watch something worthwhile.
Sharknado, somehow, changed that for a brief moment. I’m not going to get into how or why. That can be read in our review of Sharknado. What is important is that the movie was so ridiculously awful that it made me laugh as I dissected every single nonsensical shot of the movie. I fully enjoyed reaming this movie, so much so that I had plans to do the same to other Syfy clunkers like Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus. All of a sudden, watching a Mega Shark take a bite out of the Golden Gate Bridge didn’t seem so revolting.
Unfortunately, instead of taking the success of Sharknado as the “so bad it has to be seen to be believed” film that it was and moving on, the Syfy Channel began to over-do it, like they always do.
First up was the announcement of a Sharknado sequel. The film is slated to hit the Syfy Channel in 2014 and will take place in New York City. The good news is that the title “Sharkicane” is readily available, and makes the most sense considering the probable premise of sharks flying around in a storm. Not that such a movie needs to make sense, but it’s always nice to see something slightly grounded in reality.
The bad news is that a sequel is destined to fail. The great thing about Sharknado was that it was so unexpectedly bad that it was enjoyable. Now, we expect it to be bad. Maybe even worse! Now the sequel will have to toe a razor-thin line between “worse than the original” and “unbelievably over the top.” If it’s too awful, it makes it obvious that it wasn’t by accident. I know, how could Sharknado have been that bad accidentally? I lie to myself about it, because I still enjoyed the movie. A sequel will destroy all hope of innocence in ridiculously awful movies for years to come.
Next up is the theatrical release of Sharknado. Yes, some people believe that ironic fans will throw cash at a movie theater to see this ridiculously awful movie on the big screen. What good can possibly come of this? All we’ll see is how bad the CGI really was. Production can hide digital garbage when the movie is on a small screen, but any slight problem with the graphics will be enhanced 100-fold on a projection screen. And it won’t be funny. It will be sad. Very, very sad.
The theater premiere will include “never-before-seen Sharknado footage such as a behind-the-scenes featurette and a gag reel.”
That’s right. A gag reel. A sequence of mistakes made in a movie. A movie called Sharknado. A movie which is, itself, a feature length gag reel.
Luckily, the film is only being screened at select theaters on Friday, August 2nd at midnight, but it’s one screening too much.
I used to joke about how Sharknado was the moment when jumping the shark became funny again. Now I know I was wrong. Sharknado jumped The Fonz jumping the shark. Irony is dead.