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Peel My Eyes Out: A Review of Peelers

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Uncork’d Entertainment

Peelers was not as bad as I thought it was going to be, but you don’t know how bad I thought it was going to be. Though I may be a little harsh on this movie, I am not a monster. I will highlight a few redeeming qualities to it that may make you want to give it a whirl. However, I will also make a case for why this movie is better off dead.

Peelers takes place almost entirely in a strip club which is on its last night under its owner, a former stripper and random baseball enthusiast. Given the club’s status, the owner and its employees are going out in style with devil may care attitudes. That includes treating guests poorly, starting fights, and some bodily functions that have to be seen to be believed. Everything seems to be going perfectly for the last night until four patrons walk through the door.

These four men are not causing any trouble, and happen to be a little funny, but they are carrying with them a deadly secret. As their secret unfolds people begin to die for some reason. You see, this is where the movie starts to lose you.

Uncork’d Entertainment

So apparently, these men have stumbled upon oil, but it’s not oil it’s…or it is oil with some mystery chemical X. It’s never really explained. Whatever the oil-like substance is, it ends up turning people into zombies, but not. They are black-eyed, undead creatures who stumble around like zombies but inexplicably have an urge to murder and can’t be taken down by a bullet to the head, though completely bashing in their skull seems to do the trick. It isn’t until almost all of the cast has bit the dust that the Justin Bieber look-alike figures out that you can melt these things like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Uncork’d Entertainment

The movie really could have been decent if they would have nailed down a solid plot. Instead, it was all over the place, trying to be a serious movie at some points and an obnoxious horror comedy in others. The same goes for the monsters in this movie. They are introduced as mindless zombies, yet as the movie goes on, they become smarter, eventually regaining the ability to speak. There is never any real explanation of any of the significant plot points in the movie like Blue Jean’s (the owner) love for baseball, why she is selling the place, or where she plans on going.

There are a few funny moments in the movie; nothing laugh out loud funny but enough to make you blow some air through your nose. If you are a fan of the female form there is plenty of that to go around as well; it is set in a strip club after all. For anyone who enjoys a body count, this movie does not disappoint.

 

I am usually generous with my reviews because I love movies and I think that most reviewers hold them to too high of a standard, but at some point, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s probably a terrible B movie. I’m not mad that I watched this movie, but I am not planning to watch it again anytime soon.

See for yourself what the lunacy is all about when Peelers is released March 28, 2017.

About Author

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Arthur Thares is a professional writer, avid horror fan, and the go to guy when you want a good movie recommendation. If you can name it he has most likely seen it...twice. When he is not watching horror or putting words on paper he enjoys spending time with his wife and two daughters in his Minnesota estate.

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