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GLOW S01 Ep02 Breakdown: “Slouch. Submit.”

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First things first: where’s the awesome animated wrestling opening credits for GLOW?  Boo.  I guess people who are binge-watching don’t want credits, but that really sucks because they were amazing and they got you into the mood of the show.  I can understand if you’re powering through episodes of Cheers and don’t want to hear the entire 8 minute version of “Everybody Knows Your Name” every damn time, but we only got one episode of great credits.  So we have to make do with Roxette’s “The Look” playing under a cold open where we meet Melrose, the hell-raising past-her-prime party girl who drives around in a white limo.  Ruth continues to try to endear herself to her fellow wrestlers by loaning her new, white sports shoes to Melrose.  It should be noted that Ruth’s attempts at being nice never seem to work out well for her.  And actually, she tries loaning Melrose her spare pair of crappy waitressing shoes.   “Where’d you waitress, a nursing home in Poland?”

NETFLIX

It seems like it’s been about a week since the first episode because Sam asks Ruth, who he calls, “Strindberg, where’s our friend?  The smoking hot blonde who kicked your ass the other day?”

Apparently Debbie didn’t have the urge to wear leotards and be objectified by Sam Sylvia.  We also learn that Sam canned Salty “The Sack” Johnson as the girl’s wrestling trainer.  Boo, now I hate Sam, too.  Fun fact: in the real GLOW the girls were trained by Mando Guerrero from the legendary Mexican Wrestling Guerrero family and brother to the late, great Eddie Guerrero.

Sam declares that Ruth’s character is “The Homewrecker.”  She insists she was just play-acting with Debbie, that time that Debbie tried to murder her.  Uh-huh, sure.

NETFLIX

When Sam learns Debbie is a former soap opera star, he follows his visions of grandeur to Pasadena to try and convince her to become the star of GLOW.  Sam tells her, “You’re like Grace Kelly on steroids, and I want to put that on television every single week.”  Sam is a flatterer and a liar.  He plays on Debbie’s urge to be the star of anything, offers her a paycheck, and says he fired Ruth already.  About that…

Meanwhile Sam has put Cherry in charge of the training.  Cherry, we learn, was a no-nonsense stunt-person for several of Sam’s schlocky horror films he directed.  Melrose overhears Cherry and Sam discussing her miscarriage and plays a joke by pretending to have a ketchup miscarriage in the ring.  Instead of being upset, he gives the girls tips on how to do a proper wrestling miscarriage angle.  “In this one act, three lives are ruined.”  Instead Sam insults Ruth, Cherry, and Debbie.  But he uses lies and cajoling to bring them all back in the fold.

NETFLIX

Cherry gets a salary bump.  Ruth learns she’ll be the heel (a wrestling bad guy.)  “I don’t want everybody to hate me,” she moans.  Sam browbeats her, “Don’t cry.  The crying, caring, and desperation make you unbearable.”  When Debbie sells her soul for a bowl of Chow Fun from Two Panda Deli as her price for joining GLOW, Ruth asks, “So I’m fired?”  Sam explains how, no, in fact wrestling needs bad guys.  But in order to appeal to her inner Uta Hagen, Sam explains a truism about wrestling: “The Devil gets all the best lines.”

So with that, order is restored, all of the girls continue on their trajectories to GLOW superstardom, and we cue credits.  Oh wait, Melrose drives off with Ruth’s good shoes.  Then we cue credits.

BOTTOM LINE: This episode didn’t quite reach the hilarity of the Pilot.  But we start learning about some of the ancillary characters like Melrose and Cherry and what motivates them.  The show is establishing enjoyable personalities that we want to spend time with.  The miscarriage stuff wasn’t very funny, although I don’t think it was supposed to be.  This was still a good episode.

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I am a professional writer living in Van Nuys, CA. I have spent the last 20 years honing my sarcasm writing for the internet. I have two cats, a dog and an imaginary hairless mole rat.

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