Dimension Films

You just can’t keep a good movie monster down, no matter what its resurrection may do to the canon. Such is the case for Michael Myers in Halloween: Resurrection.

Movie: Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

Plot: Remember in the last movie when Laurie Strode chopped off Michael’s head with an axe a little too cleanly for believability’s sake? It turns out that it wasn’t Michael at all. It was an EMT with a crushed larynx. Michael Myers is on the loose again, hunting down his sister before settling down at his old home in Haddonfield, Illinois.

Killer: Same “Thorn never existed” Michael Myers

Critique: To be fair, Halloween: Resurrection isn’t much worse worse than its teenie-bopper horror predecessor, Halloween H20. The storyline is getting even thinner, but at least the comic relief is better. I’m not saying there should be any comic relief in a Halloween movie but, if there has to be, you might as well go for broke. That comic relief comes through the casting, online friend-making, and Busta Rhymes.

But when the jokes are gone, what we’re left with is a horror movie as empty and lifeless as a Michael Myers without a family member to murder. The suspense is gone. A moderately interesting storyline is gone. Like the internet reality tv show that surrounds this film, Halloween: Resurrection feels more like a face-time film for the actors involved than a Halloween movie.

Dimension Films

Scene of Awesomeness/Ridiculousness: I’m putting these two scene callouts together because the scene in question is both. It’s the most awesome in the film, and may be the most ridiculous in the entire Halloween franchise. The scene is where Michael Myers follows Freddie (played by Busta Rhymes) dressed up as Michael Myers through the house. When Freddie sees Michael, he tells him off, thinking it is one of his employees. AND MICHAEL LISTENS!

If you haven’t seen Halloween: Resurrection, the scene is enough to make it a worthwhile watch. Or you can just watch this clip.

Body Count: 10

2 beheadings

1 throat slit

3 stabbings

1 neck-stabbing by tripod

1 impaling on a rusty gate spike

1 head crushed by hand

1 vague bloody mess of Tyra Banks

1 pair of breasts.

Dimension Films

Actors/Actresses of Note: It’s another celebrity smorgasbord! We’ve got Busta Rhymes, Tyra Banks, that kid from Rookie of the Year and the American Pie series (Thomas Ian Nicholas,) Jamie Lee Curtis again, Sean Patrick Thomas, and Katee Sackoff from a newer Battlestar Galactica.

Quote: “Never underestimate the effect of a poor diet. Too much protein, not enough zinc. Next thing you know, you’re cutting up bodies in the bathtub. I mean, look at Hitler. He was a vegetarian. The brother was seriously malnourished.” – Rudy

Grade: D

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By Pat Emmel

Patrick began collecting a library of VHS tapes, DVDs, and CDs when he was young, and continues to build a library that could easily double as a video store and/or a revitalized Tower Records.

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